SO...I'm pregnant.

I'm no longer just a little pregnant. I'm now half way through this crazy process. WHAT?!

Let me back up. It's October 18th, 2012. Jared forces me to take a pregnancy test. I take it and for the first time in my entire life I'm left speechless and without any rational thought process. Shit just got real is a major understatement.

Let me back up even more...I had been having some problems with my menstrual cycle. I had been going to the doctor to see if I had any serious issues that would potentially prevent me from being able to have kids. I'm paranoid like that, but figured it would be better to know now so that we could prepare and plan accordingly. After months of "issues," and worrying, I thought "omg," I think I'm finally getting regulated!" And then, well then I just didn't have a period. WTF body? Even though I thought this was kind of great, in the back of my head I knew something wasn't completely normal and Jared forced me into taking that little test.

SHOCK. Pure terror flooded me to the point of no words or thoughts.

So, like any excited mom-to-be (ha) I just went into denial. I cried to Jared and to Ally (my best friend), because I didn't think we, as in I, were ready for this. I cried because I knew that EVERYTHING was going to change. I cried because I love to plan and knew that this was something I could never know how to plan for.  I cried because I felt guilty for feeling like this.

Fortunately Jared is rational. He is filled with joy and excitement. And fortunately, I gradually began to get infected by his joy and a little less terrified and overwhelmed.

We told our families at 9 weeks, which happened to be on Thanksgiving. We began with Jared's family. After we finished our meal with them, and while everyone was still at the table, Jared told his mom he got her an early Christmas present and presented her with our first  ultrasound picture. She immediately cried (tears of joy) and everyone was thrilled! Then we headed a mile up the street to my parent's house for Thanksgiving dinner round 2. We went around the table and said what we were thankful for and I was the last to go. I said something like, "I'm thankful for the amazing year of travels and blessed careers Jared and I have had. I'm also thankful for my family because you guys are always so supportive and loving. And lastly, I'm thankful that you and Tom (my step-dad), get to be grandparents in June."
If you have 3 minutes to spare, preferably on your computer, watch the reaction...please note, it will be loud, so be warned if you are at work. It will seriously make your day. My mom is crazy.

Sharing our news with our close friends, family and my water polo girls really helped me feel a lot better. Overwhelmed still, but much less terrified. Seeing them so out of their mind excited really helped me to to come out of my state of denial and begin to embrace this amazing process.

The weeks have gone on and the pregnancy is out in the open. I'm officially showing, and it's crazy to think  about everything that is happening inside of me. I know that the creation and development of a little human is a beautiful thing, but any pregnant woman who talks about how beautiful she feels while pregnant is lying. Seriously. I just feel fat. Fat everywhere. I haven't felt this awkward in my own body since age 14.

However, I am determined to stay  healthy, strong and fit during this pregnancy with the intentions of having a healthy baby, an easy and natural labor and to be able to rebound back to having abs after the baby is born. For those that have asked, I'm still lifting, doing some Crossfit workouts, running and eating pretty clean.  I have been fortunate to not have any morning sickness or other "typical" pregnancy ailment (thus far) and I accredit that to eating a very clean diet and exercising before getting pregnant. My diet hasn't been nearly as strict, but I do try to eat "real" foods and stay away from all the crap food as much as possible.

So, here's the plan for the next few months: coach an entire water polo season, which includes traveling to Hawaii at 7.5ish months pregnant...super cute, graduate with my Masters Degree in May, continue working at my wellness job until I pop, continue my lifting/training until I deliver or I get cut off, hopefully get in a vacation after season and before the baby comes, and try to be a functioning human being  and wife while doing so. Also, I plan on getting a little more educated and involved in the whole "learn about babies" process. I'm completely clueless and the whole "What to Expect When You're Expecting" gives me anxiety.

Although I'm very overwhelmed by this process, I also feel very blessed by this miracle. I know Jared and I will be ok and that the quality of our lives with improve astronomically. It is a beautiful thing. So I apologize if my honesty has offended anyone.

If you're a mom, or if you're pregnant, or if you have any words of wisdom to share that won't give me anxiety (just kidding, kinda), please feel free to share! BriannaBattles@gmail.com