7 Months of Transformation: Slow Progress Is Still Progress

So, I've created this "fit-mommy" following on my Instagram.  It started small but has grown to women from all over following me via pictures on my journey to being fit again, working and balancing motherhood with the demands of life. All in pictures! I used to make fun of people who would take selfies and hashtag everything and now look at me! Ha! However, it has become a pretty incredible way to connect with people and I don't mind sharing my journey because I also find a lot of inspiration through seeing the accomplishments of others. I look at pictures and think, "well if she was able to do it (as a single, working mom with 3 kids, etc) then what's my excuse?" or, "if she went from looking like that to having a freakin' six pack, there's no reason I can't either." Remember, I NEVER want to wear mom jeans!  But, I also like to blog in order to share the reality of my journey...it's so cliche, but success is really a journey, not a destination and that's my whole purpose behind sharing my adventures. Sometimes I feel really anxious about who is actually reading this blog, especially since Facebook is so creepy with how much you can easily and unintentionally stalk  people! I know this reaches a variety of people I know and don't know, people I talk to daily and people I haven't talked to in 10 years. I try to set aside how embarrassing a lot of this content can be and focus on the ability to share and support others who are potentially in a similar situation.

I think most people who read this blog know who I am, where I've come from., what I do and are aware of at least part of my journey. I put a lot of pressure on myself early on to get my strength and pre-baby body back. Which was a huge mistake. Because of my profession and interests, I felt external pressure to look a certain way postpartum.  While this journey has been great in terms of accountability and motivation, my expectations for how my body should bounce back after 9 months of pregnancy and a traumatic birth experience was skewed. There's so much healing that has to take place in the first few months of postpartum, and for me, it was and still is an emotional and physical healing process. I had assumed that I would give birth (the way I had planned, of course) and be back in the gym shortly after. I assumed that my stomach would shrink back to original form quickly without stretch marks and loose skin (riiight...50lbs and  a 9lb baby later...) and that I would have a flexible baby who would adapt to my lifestyle, not the other way around. Hey, I was at the top of my game in athleticism before getting pregnant and had a extremely fit pregnancy. Why wouldn't postpartum health and fitness be any different? Well, then I got introduced to reality, and reality is a bitch.

The first 4 months were extremely challenging, as many of you who have read this blog know. Ha. But aside from the challenges of becoming a mom and the difficulties we encountered, I was ashamed of my body and embarrassed to be seen. I felt as if I should look "normal" again, that I was supposed to look normal again.  Yet, I had this awkward belly that I tried to hide and jeans that I hadn't worn in a year. I got so used to hearing how fast I would bounce back since I had been so fit during pregnancy, that when it didn't happen quickly, I was embarrassed and discouraged to be seen at the gym, or anywhere for that matter. And when I did go to the gym, I was embarrassed and frustrated about how out of shape, weak and pathetic my workouts felt. I felt like saying, "I JUST HAD A BABY. STOP JUDGING." This was depressing and it didn't help when I compared myself to other postpartum women- that surely fueled my insecurity. And that's just it...this game of comparisons will kill a new mom's confidence. It extends the mommy wars beyond breastfeeding vs formula, stay at home moms vs working moms, etc. By nature we compare our successes and failures to those of our peers and that's something that I need to make a conscious effort to stop. I still find myself envious of mom's that don't work, that have family that live close to help with watching their baby, that "have the time" to get back into shape faster than me, who had babies that actually slept, or husbands that worked a "normal" schedule, etc. It was/is an ugly, self-destructive game. It's not a competition. It's not a competition. It's not a competition. I know it's hard for everyone in every situation. But, envy fuels insecurity and can destroy all the little victories that have been accomplished.

40 weeks pregnant vs 7 months postpartum

I guess what I want people to know is that I fully believe that slow progress is still progress. It's become my mantra. I've had to work hard to learn how to be a mom- it hasn't come beautifully or naturally. I love Cade more than anything in this entire world but with that, I've had to learn HOW to be a mom and how to maintain ways to love myself. I've also had to learn how to celebrate and appreciate the process of transforming my body, finding self-esteem and accepting a new norm. For me to be happy, confident and be a good mom, I need to train and have goals that are performance driven and not just aesthetically driven. I need to get stronger and feel confident and I attain that through my training.  I couldn't just "accept" my postpartum body because to me, that would be settling with an identity that I don't believe in, one that just isn't me.

After training through my entire pregnancy up until the day I went into labor, I had to spend 2 months on the couch recovering physically and mentally which was obviously not what I was expecting. But now, 7 months into this new adventure, I've found a way to love my body, appreciate what my body has endured, and change it at the same time. I find my peace through doing something that's good for me...even if it's a 10 minute workout in the garage before my baby wakes up from his nap because my damn dogs bark too much.  It's anything that helps me maintain who I am and what I believe in.

3 weeks postpartum vs 7 months postpartum

I do not have hours to spend at the gym. My workouts have to be timed around breastfeeding/pumping, naps, if Jared is around or not, what time I have to go into work that day, traveling, etc. On "good weeks" I try to plan out some meals, but often times they are random and whatever seems to be convenient. And after a really bad day, I sit down and eat chocolate on the couch. It's not perfect and it's not always pretty but it's my reality at this moment in life. So, in all it's imperfections, I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. I'm getting stronger, finding my rhythm and confidence in training and in motherhood and really learning how to celebrate the small victories. I'm proud of this journey and what has been accomplished thus far, which is why I share it. I hope that this can resonate with a variety of people who desire to be better and maintain a healthy mindset during the process.  As always, thank you all for your support- it fuels me to keep sharing and allows me to let go of a lot of my insecurities. xoxo.

Transformation Update: I get it now

I've worked with various women through the years and the number one issue that came between them and becoming healthier was time. These women devoted all of their time to taking care of their kids, working and running the household. My best comeback was always something to the effect of, "well, you have to make the time." Make the time to workout, to cook dinner, prepare weekly meals, etc. What an asshole I was. Not purposefully of course, but yeah...what an asshole.

I get it now.

 It's incredibly difficult to survive motherhood, especially in a constant state of sleep deprivation that somehow becomes a new norm. Ugh.  In many cases, it seems as though the mom is the lifeline of the family...the one who keeps it all together. To ask a women who carries that weight of responsibility to give herself what I like to call "well time"- be it going to the gym, cooking/preparing healthy meals, getting a massage, etc, will seem ridiculous to her! It's the same notion as "sleep when the baby sleeps!"- riiiiight. There's just too much to do and the notion of free time can almost seem comical.

 I was raised by a single mom and watched her sacrifice everything for my sister and I. Working out would have been a luxury for her! And honestly, it wasn't her priority because it couldn't be. I'm fortunate to have a husband who supports me in everything, however, he isn't really around when I'm around.  Our schedules are opposite in every possible way. Jared does his part to care for our family, but there are many days and nights that I spend alone with Cade. There are places to go and things to do and I do not always have the resources available to "do it all." And holy shit, what a humbling experience for someone who is used to doing it all and never saying no to anyone or any opportunity. I'm learning to say no. Why? Because this baby is my top priority and there is absolutely nothing that can come before him. I'm his person. 

I get it now.

 I get why my clients would look at me with desperation and a hint of hopelessness. God Bless those women. A mom will sacrifice everything for her child; her previous life, even her ideal life. And the crazy part is, she won't think twice about it.

Progress picture taken on the 25th of each month

Which brings me to my own update, my process of transformation, which I initially  blogged about a few months ago. This is a slow journey for me. I ignorantly assumed that getting my body back would be a fast process, and to some, I suppose it looks like I'm pretty much there. However, I know my truth. I see this body every day. I see the stretch marks that appeared at 39 weeks pregnant with my huge baby. I see the loose skin that bulges over my jeans...making the choice of which shirt to wear a major challenge! :)  I feel what this body is able to do and what it is not able to do yet. I compare it to what it was before pregnancy and try not to get frustrated. This body survived a traumatic birth, it is still the only source of nutrition for my baby,  and  this body is gradually finding its way back to homeostasis. I'm 5 months postpartum and I'm still not as strong as I was at 40 weeks pregnant. This seems so ridiculous to me! Accepting this temporary normal has been such a struggle. I'm not able to put in nearly as much time into my training as I used to, or would like to. I simply can't. There are days, more often than not, that this baby kicks my ass. He needs me. The gym doesn't need me. I try to force myself to make the time, with the understanding/acceptance that it may not happen and I need to be ok with that. The workouts are short. My strength is far below what it "should" be, but I have a whole new appreciation for quality workouts. There's no way I can spend hours in a gym. I am a working mom and his full time care taker who is trying my freakin' best to do it all and have it all, while being mindful of my health. Learning to adapt my training volume and manage my training expectations postpartum/post surgery has been a lesson no education or certification could have ever taught me.

 As far as my nutrition...it seems to come in waves, according to how psycho Cade is that week. When Jared isn't with me, it's hard to be motivated to make dinner, especially because I get home late from coaching. Night time is a rushed routine of getting Cade prepped, nursed, nursed again and in bed. My home is chaotic. Constantly. My diet is SO from perfect, but I really do try to maintain my nutritional fundamentals that make up my overall philosophy on living a healthy lifestyle. I keep is simple and honesty it's pretty boring, but I feel better when I eat quality, real food...not just physically better, but mentally and emotionally more stable. Hey, I need all the help I can get!

It's been an entire year of tracking how my body has physically adapted to pregnancy and now postpartum life. I've been humbled by this entire experience, as echoed in almost all my blogs! Ha! The physical transformation that is in progress is mentally exhausting, especially because I'm so immersed in this field. It's my career! I'm "expected" to bounce back, but I'm making my reality known;  it's a slow process, it's vulnerable and I hope to set realistic expectations for other active mamas.

Because now, I actually get it.

 I get the sacrifice it takes to find time to care about yourself when you become a mom. It's hard to find the time, especially when you're beyond exhausted, but when quality is the focus and proper perspective is maintained, it's the greatest gift you can give yourself and your family.  A woman who feels strong, who is able to take time to  improve her self-image and confidence through living healthfully, will be a better, more energized and loving woman.

Thank you for being apart of my journey. Thank you for the support.

The Journey to Fit...Again

My baby is now 10 weeks old! The past 10 weeks have been a chaotic blur, figuring out how to be a mom, and slowly reintegrating myself into the life I once knew. A huge part of my healing process has been being able to get out of the house, workout and simply being able to move freely again. Being stuck on the couch healing from a C-section and struggling with breastfeeding caused me to feel depressed and extremely insecure as a new mom. Obviously hormones are no joke, but my body just endured 10 months of growing a child! Delivering a baby and recovering from the labor/delivery/surgery is the greatest athletic event any woman will ever endure. I struggled a lot the first 6 weeks of his life with mentally and physically recovering from the traumatic/unexpected birth experience I had, breastfeeding, and having a body that was unrecognizable. It's hard to be loving when you have a hard time loving yourself. I've been cleared to workout for about 3 weeks now;  it's been a humbling physical experience, but it's helped me heal mentally and emotionally in a way that I could have never really expected.

Unfortunately the exercise advice for women postpartum is "20 minutes on the elliptical and increase duration as time goes on." So, what the hell does that translate to for women who partake in Weightlifting, Crossfit, Triathlons, etc? It seems like Doctors don't realize that more women are maintaining their athleticism throughout their pregnancies and plan on staying  fit after giving birth as well. I find it very frustrating that there is a misconception and a lack of information out there for postpartum athletic women.  I'm using my education, personal experience, intuition and the knowledge I've gained through coaching a variety of individuals to get myself back to where I was (and ideally even better), before getting pregnant. Each day in the gym is an experiment with the program I have designed.

40 weeks pregnant- 95 pound hang cleans

Many coaches, especially in the Crossfit world do not have a great understanding for how to train pregnant women, or understand the recovery process. This is why I emphasize the importance of getting educated about exercise and learning how to trust your body and listen to the feedback it provides. BirthFit is a great resource for that. It's unrealistic for most women to bounce back right away. I'm in the beginning process of my "comeback," for lack of a better word, and it's frustrating to be in an environment of reminders of where I'm not at currently. I want to be strong again, to feel confident in my body and my ability. Yet, I'm humbled and amazed by what my body has endured throughout the last year; no one will ever be able to truly appreciate that or understand that process until they've been through it.  I'm grateful for how strong I was able to be prior because I know it's helping me in my recovery. I've had to put my ego aside and focus on fundamentals. My body is still healing and oh yeah, I'm living in a world of minimal sleep and a crying baby. 

40 weeks pregnant-1 month post-2 months post

I'm currently tracking my progress through pictures. It's so embarrassing, but it provides a source of accountability and physical proof that changes are happening. I documented my pregnancy and feel that I should continue to track this process as well.  I refuse to really pay a lot of attention to what I weigh, because it doesn't provide the kind of feedback I need. I gained 50lbs (I only know this from having to get weighed at my doctor appointments...terrible) so I know it isn't a quick process to lose everything. I want my strength back in the gym and I want to see my abs again. I still have some loose skin surrounding my abdomen, more fat on my thighs and stupid big boobs, but I'm trying to be patient. My goal is to paint a realistic picture of what it takes to regain fitness after having a baby. Anyone can look good wearing the right clothing- I want to look good naked! My only plan is to eat clean, not perfect (totally unrealistic with a newborn...at least for me) and I'm working out at an intensity that will not injure me and further set me back.  

I have a great support unit of people who are following me in this journey and I hope to set an example that isn't Hollywood based. I'm a fit woman who is struggling at figuring out motherhood, my new routine and my physical/mental/emotional health. I want to prove to myself that this body is temporary and that I can get back to where I was and feel confident in the process.  

GOAL...to get back to this. I took my body for granted at the time, never appreciating how strong and healthy I actually was. What a reality check pregnancy is! SO, I've realized this is the perfect opportunity to fully embrace my body's capabilities and potential, focus on the fundamentals and track my progress in a healthy manner. Thanks for reading and thank you for the support. 

6 weeks pregnant

1 year ago

I Love A Barbell

I've fallen more and more in love with lifting over the past year, specifically, within the past 6 months. I've adjusted my training so that I'm focusing solely on strength and I love what's happening to me. I don't weigh myself, I don't count calories, I don't do cardio that lasts longer than 15 minutes and I don't do high reps with baby weights. Unfortunately, this is the message that women are told to do by fitness magazines, the average personal trainer and it's what they see other women doing in the gym.  It makes me sad to see so many women working their ass off for over an hour a day on the elliptical only to see minimal results; ladies, the elliptical is not where it's at. Allowing myself to fall in love with a barbell has given me confidence that I've never been able to tap into before. And...let's be honest, being strong and being able to lift more than a lot of men makes me feel like a bad ass. And any man that's threatened by that...well they're not worth a single second of my time.

So many women are scared of lifting weights because they're afraid of getting bulky or manly. The women I know and the women I train who workout using a heavily loaded barbell look really, really good, and there are a lot of men out there who are more than willing to confirm this. It does more then strengthen and "tone" your body. It changes your mentality. Feeling strong, being strong and embracing strong does so much for a woman's confidence; no one can deter a confident woman.

I can remember days, a few years ago, that I would step on the scale and start crying. I would stare at myself in the mirror analyzing every inch of my body. I hate that and I wanna slap the old me. There's no time for that nonsense now. Life is a gift, our bodies are made to be a highly effective machine;  there's  no reason we shouldn't embrace our physical abilities.  Beauty and strength come in all different shapes and sizes.

One of my favorite training pages is Lift Big Eat Big. They're doing a great thing for women; they empower
women to embrace strength, their bodies (in particular, a strong, big ass!!), eating well, all while gaining a ton of support by people doing similar things.

One of the posts they showed on their Facebook page was that of a model wearing a dress, and a picture of a woman who lifts heavy wearing the same dress. That post influenced me to post a picture of myself from Vegas this past weekend, compared to a model wearing the same dress. Obviously the dress fits me a little bit different than the model!

I'm in no way bashing skinny, because women and beauty are defined in so many different ways and our bodies are designed to excel at various activities. The point I'm trying to make is that women need to find a way to embrace the body they have, while finding their health and confidence along the way. For a long time I believed in my sport, then I moved on and thought I would try running and with that, I feel into and found success doing triathlons. However, my career in the wellness and strength and conditioning field, a long with my personal journey toward optimal health has made me fall in love with lifting because it speaks the truth. It can be so exhilarating to hit a lift that you couldn't budge a month before. It's humbling when a weight you've been able to lift in the past doesn't come off the ground. It is a constant reminder of how far I've come and how far I have to go. It's a battle between ME and ME; I no longer have to compare myself to others. My goals are ever changing and progress is ongoing.  My body and my mind are the healthiest they've ever been and I want to encourage all women to fall in love with lifting; see what your body is capable of doing and better yet, see what it does to your confidence and self-esteem.

Never Trust A Girl Who Works Out With Her Hair Down

I've said this before, and I will stand by this statement for the rest of my life. Never trust a girl who works out with her hair down. Just don't. Why? Too many reasons to list, but let's sum it up by saying her priorities are not in the right place.

Yep, this pretty much sums it up.

So, with this, I've created my own edition of "What not to Wear, Say, Do, or Be." Does my opinion matter? Absolutely not, but just know that girls like me, think girls (and I guess some guys) like these listed below are super annoying.

1. Don't be girl on the treadmill or the girl that walks around the neighborhood with weights in her hands. If you want a real workout, walk up a hill with a weight vest on. You won't look as stupid.
2. Pink or Purple Dumbbells. Just stop. You're embarrassing me.
3. Any dumbbell under 8lbs. Seriously? I can guarantee you that your purse weighs more than 8lbs. So if you can hold your purse for 3 hours at the mall, you can lift weights that will actually challenge you for 15 minutes.
4. Don't wear, or ever buy gray workout pants again. Sweaty crotch and ass stains are never hot....especially if it's visible. Stick to black, or material that won't show sweat.
5.  Get a supportive sports bra. Even the best boobs shouldn't move to their own rhythm.
6. Don't wear makeup. Sweaty foundation marks look ridiculous and mascara streaks will scare men away. Speaking of men, not that I am a man, but I'm around them a lot. With this, I feel confident saying that a quality man will appreciate a woman who is confident enough to walk out of the house and get in a hard workout, without the insecurity of wearing a ton of make up to the gym. Save the make up for after the workout.
7. Rule for ALL: Wear deodorant. Also, don't spray your whole body with perfume. A little is fine, but you know what I'm talking about.
8. Don't get on a cardio machine with a magazine or book glued to your face. Save it for after your workout when you are exhausted on the couch. Your workouts should be at an intensity where you couldn't imagine being able to read and move simultaneously.
9. Do not EVER buy shape ups, or any knock off brand of shape ups. To prevent me from ranting, just read this if you really want to know why you made a bad purchase.
10. Spandex is not appropriate for all shapes and sizes. Be confident, but please, check yourself before leaving the house. Modern Family Spandex anyone?
11. Do not run/elliptical/bike/walk while talking on the phone. Chances are, the person next to you wants to smack the phone out of your hand.
12. Keep your music to yourself. I don't wanna listen to Rhianna vicariously through your headphones.
13. Put a shirt on. Guys may like it, but girls wanna punch you.
14. Get rid of the mindset that lifting weights will make you bulky. Don't believe me?
15. Eat real food. No diet pills, diet shakes, lemon juice concoctions, etc. If this stuff worked, there wouldn't be any fat people. Consume high quality, real food throughout the day.
16. Stop checking yourself out in the mirror or window reflection every 5 seconds.
17. It's great to workout with a friend. It's not good to just blab the whole time about how drunk you're gonna get this weekend. Remember why you're there.
18. Don't facebook at the gym.
19. Starbucks on the treadmill? No.
20. Smoking before you go into the gym? What's the point of working out... obviously being healthy isn't a priority to you.
21. Walking. Although, it is great for people who are morbidly obese and rarely get their ass off the couch, it more than likely isn't gonna constitute a workout for anyone else. You are made to walk...consider this, walking from your car into your work building isn't something you consider exercise, right? You can prance your ass all around the mall without calling it exercise. So, don't waste your time going to the gym, with the idea of walking as your form of exercise. If you want to walk, do it in addition to your workout- your dog will love you and it's a great way to clear your head. If you really, really wanna walk for weight loss, walk up hills, or with a weight vest, or consider speed walking intervals. You have options- don't waste your time strolling at 3.0 on the treadmill and expect it to make a difference.

This post is not to deter you from working out. It's just intended to give you a reality check if you are doing some of these things. Again, my opinion does not matter, I'm just simply voicing it. So, if you didn't know better before, now you do. Stay healthy and classy, friends.

An update, body weight routines, HIIT, and why you won't get bulky!

Hello! I have been meaning to post for a couple weeks now, but I have been super busy! I have officially been accepted to Concordia University for my Masters in Coaching so I've been trying to get all that stuff going. I'm super excited and nervous to start school again. Bring on the time management!Anywhooo, because I have talked nutrition lately, I thought I would do a little post on exercise and overall fitness. So, here's what I got... :)

You can eat right all day long, but if you don't accompany your diet with exercise, you will not have the hot bod you want. Yes, you can lose weight by eating right, but your body won't physically respond the way you want it to. Your skin will be loose, and all you'll be is a shriveled up version of yourself. With clothes on, you'll look good...but doesn't everyone want to look good naked?

Many women believe the way to a hot bod is through tormenting your joints with long bouts of cardio. Eww. Been there, done that. Even smart, athletic women fool themselves into thinking that more and longer is better than shorter and harder. It gets justified with, "well, my heart rate monitor said I burned 600 calories!" or, "The screen on the elliptical said that I burned 300 calories."  Cardio alone does not give you the strong, athletic, healthy body that you are looking for. Cardio through metabolic conditioning, intervals and sprints keep your heart healthy and your muscles strong. That's the way to go if you want to "get your cardio in." Why? Because when you do High Intensity Inverval Training (HIIT), your metabolism spikes and continues to burn for a longer amount of time, even hours, and in some cases, days after your short interval workout. Your body goes into recovery and restore mode, therefore, everything, including your metabolism, becomes activated at a faster rate.

Aside from cardio, ladies, the best damn thing you can do for your body is to lift weights. Pink dumbbells don't count. If you purse weighs more then the weights you grab when you go to the gym, there's a problem.

I understand that not everyone has access to a good trainer, or to a gym. No problem. Use your own weight with these body weight/minimal equipment exercise routines. These routines are broken up into body weight, body weight + pull up bar, body weight + rings and body weight + jump rope. You get the idea. Very minimal, very cheap to purchase these items, AND you don't have to purchase anything if you don't want to. This should be your starting point. Do what you can, and if you can't do the full workout, cut down the time, rounds, or reps. Make it work for you.

Everyone from couch potatoes to moms, to moms that are couch potatoes, to full on athletes can benefit from those workouts. Seriously. Intensity is key. The harder you push yourself, the better the results. Just do the damn thing. Anyone can go out on a run, but many of the people who are out running, can't do 10 push ups, in fact, most can't do a single push up. Be the person who can run, jump, do a push up, and carry your Costco groceries from the car to your kitchen in one trip.

But let's get real, if you are seriously sick of your workout regimen, are no longer seeing results, or never saw results in the first place, YOU need to change. Your body is smarter than you give it credit for so it learns to adapt pretty freakin' fast. Do you have a flabby belly from your marathon training? Do your arms get tired from holding your kid for an extended amount of time? Do you have a saggy ass? Time to add the big boys to your life. Stop being scared of getting bulky. Lifting heavy weights will NOT MAKE YOU BULKY.  

Obviously I'm going to be a huge supporter of joining a Crossfit or other Strength and Conditioning gym.  I will also promote personal trainers....BUT if your trainer is more like a professional counter and is more concerned with how they look rather than your progress, find someone new. You're wasting your time and money. You cannot put a price on your health and wellness; some things are worth investing a little money into. Yes, that means you cut back on what you spend at Starbucks weekly, or those Saturday night drinks.

If you have no idea what to do at the gym, I highly recommend reading Rachel Cosgrove's book, 'The Female Body Breakthrough". It is a FANTASTIC resource for women looking to learn how to lift weights properly. It speaks to women with no experience, who are intimidated by the 24 Hour Fitness crows that's filled with grunting, sweaty men. Don't let trainers and the men around you intimidate you. If you have a question, find a trainer and ask him or her to show you a proper squat, or what a deadlift is.  If you see someone working out, and they look like they know their ish, ask them questions. If you aren't comfortable approaching a trainer, go to the front desk and have them refer you to someone with a "strength and conditioning" background, someone who trains athletes. They will refer you accordingly. Swallow your pride and seek the assistance you need.

To summarize, if you want to look "lean and toned," you must challenge your muscles with body weight exercises, high intensity cardio (sprints, intervals, metabolic conditioning) and by lifting weights that are heavier than your stupid purse. You will not get bulky. Don't try to argue it. Besides, most men I know prefer strong, athletic women over frail, weak, skinny-fat girls. Be strong, be healthy, challenge yourself to something new. If your current routine sucks and you don't have the body you want, take the initiative to change it. If you want to find a gym or trainer near you, contact me and I will help you find the right fit.

Amber's Story

Meet Amber.
This is what Amber looked like when I met her about a year ago.
She came into the Wellness Center timid and very inexperienced. It has been an incredible experience for Amber, myself, and all the people she works with and works out with, to see her transform into who she is now. I have had the pleasure of watching Amber not only physically change, but I have witnessed her self-esteem, attitude and overall perspective on life and overall health and wellness change. .
My name is Amber Gonzalez I’m 23 years old. I’ve been married for 5 years to my husband and we have a 2 year old son.When I met my husband, I weighed around 150 pounds and wore a size 7 in jeans. We would see each other every day and we would eat at various fast food restaurants. After two years of eating out and not exercising, my jeans were size 13. I ended up weighing between185 and190 pounds. I had gained 35-40 pounds of pure junk food. My friends would tell my husband and I that we had gained a lot of weight. Our excuse was always that we were just comfortable with each other and that is what happens when you get married. In February of 2008, I found out I was pregnant. We were so excited to finally start our own family.
When I gave birth to my son on November 3, 2008, I weighed 198 pounds. I never thought I would see that number. I was not able to fit into any of my clothes, so I wore my pregnancy pants until my son was about 9 months.. That’s when I finally decided to go buy some jeans that fit me. When I went shopping for my jeans I found out my current jean size was 15/16. I was so shocked! I was up about 8 sizes from when I had first met my husband. Did that make me change my opinion about eating healthy or exercising? NO. This sent me into a downward spiral. I started eating more junk food and started to drink beer more often…big mistake.

When my son turned 1 years old, we went to Disneyland to celebrate his birthday. I purchased a picture from Disneyland and my stomach looked like I was still pregnant! I was so fat I could not believe what the picture reflected. My family had been telling me that I was letting myself go and that they had never seen me this big. That was there way of showing support to make me lose weight, but it would just make me angrier and I didn’t care how I was abusing my body.

I reached a new low when I had to begin shopping at Plus Size stores. I was wearing a 2X. I could not believe that I was only 22 years old and this overweight. I tried all type of diets: the lemon diet, soup diet, only eating fruit once per day, and a just vegetables diet. I would quit because I could not last with those diets. My husband would tell me that I needed to be more determined to lose weight and that I would always just give up. I felt like I had no support from my husband and my family.

In February 2010 I got hired for a full time position at Electro Rent Corporation. I found out they had a Wellness Center for full-time employees. I started going once a week but my body was not use to exercising since I had not done any form of exercise since high school. I never pushed myself exercised. When I would go to the gym, I would stay sore for a week.

One day, I weighed myself at the gym and my weight was at 210 pounds. This was my moment. I hated myself.

I started to eat healthier and explained to my husband how I felt. I didn’t go back to the gym until a month later. I was eating healthy and was happy that I had not given up on a healthy lifestyle. I was determined to go to the gym even if I was sore. When I was told to do a push up, I could not even do one. I modified the push ups for the first few months.

Bri was the new Wellness Coordinator at work. She would make 6 week programs which would help me push and keep going towards my goal. When I participated in the first 6-week program, I ended up winning for the most total inches lost. I could not believe this! I was so shocked and but very happy. My weight was at 190 but told myself I need to get back to a size 7. I knew it was going to take a long time to get there but I was willing to go through the pain. In the process of getting to my goal weight, I taking classes at the Wellness Center. Bri had the class workout at a greater intensity; she had me hold 20 pounds dumbbells in each had I thought she was crazy! What is she thinking?! I have realized that I have gotten stronger thanks to her.

Exercising has improved my life a lot. I have seen great results and I now have the desire to workout; it makes me feel good. I have even developed a new love for running! I have made great friends that workout with me at the Wellness Center and they really help to push me. There are times I want to break down in tears during a class, but I have learned how to push through.

My family, friends, and many others have asked me how I have lost so much weight. They can't believe that I have done it without a specific diet, or pills. That is my motivation to keep going. In fact, I started a workout group twice a week with my close friends to help teach them how to exercise.
There are times I want to quit. However, I have learned that overcoming these challenges will help me get to my goal weight. The last time I weighted myself was May 2^nd, 2011 and I weight 176 pounds. I have lost a total of 34 pounds and many inches. I never thought I would have reached this weight. This has been an incredible journey and I’m thrilled that I’m getting closer to my goal. I refuse to give up now.

This is Amber now....
Beautiful! I'm so proud
of you, girl!

Drum roll please....Here are the results

BACKGROUND INFO: For those of you who did not know already, I recently completed a 6 week Paleo/Performance Challenge at my Crossfit gym. The goals were to eat clean (meats, fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds) and increase athletic performance levels by the end of the 6 weeks. If you want to see the original post about the beginning of the challenge, click here.

SO...there it is.
Changes? Yes, small, but significant enough to show improvement.
I wasn't expecting to see dramatic changes over the course of the contest. I'm happy with the results, because the fact that there were changes is something to take pride in.

The TRUTH!
So, did I stay true to Paleo the whole time? No, but I stuck with it to the best of my ability (God forbid I have cream in my Starbiz coffee when traveling with 20 college aged girls...I'm not a bad ass who can drink black coffee). I traveled close to every weekend during this challenge and consumed more than the appropriate amount of Larabars, and dried fruit/nut mixes. So, technically these foods count as paleo; it just wasn't the best representation of a super clean paleo diet. When I ate out, all food I ate was appropriate to the best of my knowledge, although I'm sure it wasn't 100% due to oils, and other shit used at restaurants.

CONCLUSION!
I really love the philosophy of eating within the Paleo diet. For me, choosing natural, whole foods that God put on this planet for us to all enjoy sits well with me. I like how aware I have become of the foods I consume and how the food makes my body feel; especially because I am already very sensitive to gluten. Will ice cream every now and then kill me? No. Would eating ice cream every night create havoc within the precious machine I call my body? YES. Our bodies are amazing machines; they are designed to produce strength, power, fuel, and all things that keep the body functioning at idealistic levels. My body functions well off eating clean, real food and that was demonstrated in my workouts and in the pictures. However, that doesn't mean my body will stop working for me and go into full on sabotage mode if I choose to indulge in a treat every so often. I stress to my clients to eat clean foods 80-90% of the time, and plan out their "cheats" in moderation. Eating like this is actually really easy. It makes dieting "black and white." You either can have it, or you can't. If it isn't real food, don't eat it. Will I stick to the paleo kind of lifestyle? Yes, but I will not limit myself from my mom's delicious cookies, or from a couple drinks with friends every so often. Life is too precious. Period.

Oh, and for all the people obsessed with weighing themselves and using BMI charts to see their progress...
There was NO change in my weight or in my body fat percentage. Hey numbers...screw you.

If you feel good in your sexy jeans, you have succeeded. If you post pictures of your half naked self on the internet, and don't want to die of embarrassment (well, maybe a little)...you have succeeded.

Fake It Til' Ya Make It

Holy Shit! I can't believe I am posting this online, but as I mentioned in a previous post, I am going public with my goals. I am being honest with myself, my clients and anyone who chooses to read this blog. Now, as you can imagine, this is a little painful/embarrassing for me to post. Seriously. The past month or so was filled with my mom's yummy Christmas cookies and treats and one too many indulgences. I'm definitely not at my best, but I know it could be worse. By broadcasting these photos on the Internet, I will be more inclined to hold myself accountable.

Reasons for the pictures:
A. My Crossfit gym is doing a 6 week Paleo/Performance Challenge.
B. I don't care about winning the contest...not at all. I just want to see a healthier version of me develop. I want to see the results in pictures and in my performance, not by a number on a scale or a number on a chart. Pictures and performance tell the whole story.
C. The next few months will be challenging. My work hours will be long, and I will be traveling every weekend with a group of female athletes who eat like teenage boys. I will be eating at restaurants that don't offer the best selection of healthy food. If I can stay true to a healthy eating and workout regimen during the crazy times, there is no excuse for me not to maintain these healthy habits during the not to busy times.
D. I'm not a skinny bitch. I never will be. I have muscle, I have boobs, and I have a butt. I don't represent model skinny or model beautiful. This is real, and the goals I am reaching for are attainable. They are healthy and realistic. If I can do this, during the busiest time of my year, any female can do the same damn thing. Cliche? Maybe, but I hope this inspires someone to put themselves out there and go for it.

I'm faking it til' I make it. I'm making changes, not excuses. I'm "faking" confidence in these pictures and in myself. I will embrace the new challenges, the structure and the strict routine for the next few weeks. I will "fake" this process, until I make my goals happen. I want to see a healthy transformation, and continue to instill healthy life habits and routine. into my life. Sometimes, leading by example requires "faking it til' ya make it."

Going Public

This is a follow up to my previous post on here. I decided to take the personal approach and make my goals publicly known. It's proven fact that if you write your goals down, make your goals public, and talk about your goals consistently, you are more likely to actually accomplish them. So, I decided that this is the best forum for me to express my goals for the next year. This post will help to keep me in line, and help to keep me accountable across the board. Feel free to steal any that may apply to you!

-First and far most important goal is to continue to practice what I preach to my clients and my girls every single day.
-Eat Paleo 80% of the time and plan my cheats strategically.
-Deadlift 300 pounds.
-Power Clean 135 pounds.
-Conquer 1 Muscle Up...this one is gonna take a while. :)
-Improve my pull ups- kipping and strict.
-Explore Alaska with Jared this summer.
-Take Vitamin D and Fish Oil TWICE each day (I'm REALLY bad at consistently remembering to take pills).
-Take better care of my skin by wearing sun screen and using lotion every day.
-Do a triathalon for FUN again...not because I have to.
-Embrace my body and eliminate all negative thinking/negative comments.
-Find a church in Thousand Oaks.
-Make time each day to pray with Jared.
-Be a role model for the girls I coach by continually setting a good example.
-Read.
-Keep blogging!
-Continue to build my relationships with friends and family, and eliminate the people and situations that bring me down.
-Control my stress by maintaining balance between my wellness job, coaching job, marriage, and "me" time- this one will NOT be easy.
-Start a new family tradition between Jared and I.
-Live and preach the "strong is beautiful" message.
-Begin my Masters. Yikes.

Strong is _______

I would like to start with some words of wisdom; words that I hope resonate with you. Words that you can repeat to yourself when you look in the mirror.

There are many catchy slogans going around that I FULLY endorse! For example, "Strong is the New Skinny," "Strong is the new Beautiful," "Strong is the new Sexy." A few of the more admired women in the fitness/wellness industry have also written about this positive trend. I adore these words. I think it's empowering for women to read and hear the combination of sexy/beautiful/skinny in coorelation with the word "strong."

Ok, we have ALL been told not to compare our bodies to the women we see on TV/magazines...yes, I think we all get this. I actually don't believe that the majority of women compare themselves to Victoria Secret models. I think women have an image in their head of what they imagine THEIR ideal body to look like. For example, I have a big ass. It's a strong big ass, but it's a big ass nonetheless. Would I like it to be smaller, yeah, maybe a little, but I have also come to accept a few things that go a long with having this ass. It's hereditary (thanks mom). It's hard and big and filled with muscle. It can back squat a ton of weight and haul my body through a Half Ironman. I can't change the bone structure of my body. The width of my pelvis will never, ever change no matter how much I diet/exercise. Besides, I would never want my bones to loose their width and strength...hello osteoporosis! Everyone is shaped differently. I naturally, (again, thanks mom) have a smaller waist. My jeans fit tight in the legs and loose in the waist...until I bought a pair of ghetto fabulous Cookie Johnson Jeans...holla! :)I digress. Ok, so what I'm saying is, we all have faults, and parts of our body that we simply cannot change. Factors such as fat content, CAN be changed. I could have a fat jiggly ass that is the same size as my muscular ass...tough choice here! However, you MUST come to accept the body God gave you, and create the healthiest, strongest version of this body.

I challenge you to change the way you view your "imperfections." Embrace the body you have, and manipulate your body into being a machine that works for YOU. If your goal is to loose inches and fat, AWESOME (notice I rarely say pounds...I will save that for another blog post). Get to the gym, and build up some muscle. Believe that "Strong is Sexy, Beautiful and the New Skinny." You are the only one that has control over the future of your health and your reflection in the mirror. Be strong, and be proud.