The Journey to Fit...Again

My baby is now 10 weeks old! The past 10 weeks have been a chaotic blur, figuring out how to be a mom, and slowly reintegrating myself into the life I once knew. A huge part of my healing process has been being able to get out of the house, workout and simply being able to move freely again. Being stuck on the couch healing from a C-section and struggling with breastfeeding caused me to feel depressed and extremely insecure as a new mom. Obviously hormones are no joke, but my body just endured 10 months of growing a child! Delivering a baby and recovering from the labor/delivery/surgery is the greatest athletic event any woman will ever endure. I struggled a lot the first 6 weeks of his life with mentally and physically recovering from the traumatic/unexpected birth experience I had, breastfeeding, and having a body that was unrecognizable. It's hard to be loving when you have a hard time loving yourself. I've been cleared to workout for about 3 weeks now;  it's been a humbling physical experience, but it's helped me heal mentally and emotionally in a way that I could have never really expected.

Unfortunately the exercise advice for women postpartum is "20 minutes on the elliptical and increase duration as time goes on." So, what the hell does that translate to for women who partake in Weightlifting, Crossfit, Triathlons, etc? It seems like Doctors don't realize that more women are maintaining their athleticism throughout their pregnancies and plan on staying  fit after giving birth as well. I find it very frustrating that there is a misconception and a lack of information out there for postpartum athletic women.  I'm using my education, personal experience, intuition and the knowledge I've gained through coaching a variety of individuals to get myself back to where I was (and ideally even better), before getting pregnant. Each day in the gym is an experiment with the program I have designed.

40 weeks pregnant- 95 pound hang cleans

Many coaches, especially in the Crossfit world do not have a great understanding for how to train pregnant women, or understand the recovery process. This is why I emphasize the importance of getting educated about exercise and learning how to trust your body and listen to the feedback it provides. BirthFit is a great resource for that. It's unrealistic for most women to bounce back right away. I'm in the beginning process of my "comeback," for lack of a better word, and it's frustrating to be in an environment of reminders of where I'm not at currently. I want to be strong again, to feel confident in my body and my ability. Yet, I'm humbled and amazed by what my body has endured throughout the last year; no one will ever be able to truly appreciate that or understand that process until they've been through it.  I'm grateful for how strong I was able to be prior because I know it's helping me in my recovery. I've had to put my ego aside and focus on fundamentals. My body is still healing and oh yeah, I'm living in a world of minimal sleep and a crying baby. 

40 weeks pregnant-1 month post-2 months post

I'm currently tracking my progress through pictures. It's so embarrassing, but it provides a source of accountability and physical proof that changes are happening. I documented my pregnancy and feel that I should continue to track this process as well.  I refuse to really pay a lot of attention to what I weigh, because it doesn't provide the kind of feedback I need. I gained 50lbs (I only know this from having to get weighed at my doctor appointments...terrible) so I know it isn't a quick process to lose everything. I want my strength back in the gym and I want to see my abs again. I still have some loose skin surrounding my abdomen, more fat on my thighs and stupid big boobs, but I'm trying to be patient. My goal is to paint a realistic picture of what it takes to regain fitness after having a baby. Anyone can look good wearing the right clothing- I want to look good naked! My only plan is to eat clean, not perfect (totally unrealistic with a newborn...at least for me) and I'm working out at an intensity that will not injure me and further set me back.  

I have a great support unit of people who are following me in this journey and I hope to set an example that isn't Hollywood based. I'm a fit woman who is struggling at figuring out motherhood, my new routine and my physical/mental/emotional health. I want to prove to myself that this body is temporary and that I can get back to where I was and feel confident in the process.  

GOAL...to get back to this. I took my body for granted at the time, never appreciating how strong and healthy I actually was. What a reality check pregnancy is! SO, I've realized this is the perfect opportunity to fully embrace my body's capabilities and potential, focus on the fundamentals and track my progress in a healthy manner. Thanks for reading and thank you for the support. 

6 weeks pregnant

1 year ago