Shit not to say to a pregnant lady Part II

Almost 38 weeks.
Gained 40 lbs.
At least I'm still able to workout!

I'm approaching 38 weeks. The baby is fully developed and I'm fully over this. It's not that it's thaaaat bad and that I'm suffering from any crazy preggo lady ailments, (except for legit heart burn since my stomach is now located between my boobs), it's just that it's awkward and inconvenient being 40lbs heavier and feeling so not attractive. Which brings me to this blog, shit not to say to a pregnancy lady, part II. I wrote part 1 at about 5 months pregnant, knowing there would only be more good remarks and "words of wisdom" to come.

-Do not talk about your labor or about your friend's labor or sister's labor and how awful it was.

-Don't tell me about pooping on the table or ripping completely. I know it could happen, but I don't want to talk about it.

-Do not mimic labor moaning sounds. Gross. WTF is wrong with you?

-If I have trusted you enough to disclose the name we have chosen, please don't say anything negative or make an awkward face. Just go with it. Pretend to like it. Flatter me and shut the eff up.

-Throughout my pregnancy, I've heard many remarks on my workout routine, especially how much I've continued to lift. Most of the remarks have been positive. However, telling me what to do, what I shouldn't be doing (because they're the exercise expert?!) is not ok with me. I train people for a living, I've been an athlete my whole life and nothing I'm doing is uncomfortable for me or for the baby. I have been able to successfully regulate what I'm capable of doing and what I'm no longer able to do. So no, a push press won't wrap the umbilical cord around the neck and lifting over 40lbs won't cause me to go into labor (I wish that's all it took!). If I can offer a piece of advice, being healthy and maintaining healthy workout habits through pregnancy has been the BEST thing I could have possibly done for my sanity and body.

-If I tell you that I'm going to have a natural childbirth, do not tell me otherwise. I fully understand and accept that birth plans do not always go as desired and that I may need intervention beyond what I want. I fully trust my Doctor and can set aside my own pride for the sake of my health and the baby. However, don't tell me that "once I feel a contraction, I'll be asking for an epidural." I don't think you know me well enough to say that or doubt what my intentions are. And those that know me, know that I won't have the pain meds unless I seriously need to. Again, nothing is fool proof, but I don't enjoy the lack of faith our society seems to have in a woman's natural, God given ability to give birth without the aid of drugs.

-I'm getting close to the point of delivery. Or so I hope. Don't tell me how huge I am, or that I look like I'm going to pop, or make comments referring to how uncomfortable I must feel. Chances are, you are 100% correct. I am huge, I do feel like I'm going to pop and yes, I am kinda uncomfortable. I don't need to be reminded constantly.

-Don't laugh and make any remark that indicates that my life is over and the extent to which it will change. Or that my marriage will now suck because it's ALL going to be about the baby. I am planning on having this baby enhance our life and our marriage. I will do whatever it takes to find a balance between having a child and not losing sight of who I am and what I enjoy doing. It won't be easy, but how I choose to raise this child while not forgetting who I am and what I love and enjoy will be my top priority. My life isn't over- it's adapting!

-My ankles aren't swollen. This isn't a miracle...don't act like you are witnessing a miracle by seeing a pregnant woman with normal feet.

-"You're STILL pregnant?!?"  **STFU**

I probably sound like a grumpy, pregnant bitch, which technically, I am, but people have no filter when it comes to speaking with someone who is pregnant. I will never be able to understand the women who enjoy pregnancy and feel beautiful. I wish I did. I've made the absolute most of this time in my life by maintaining my normalcy through working, coaching and continually training up until the last second possible. Don't make it any harder on a pregnant woman by doubting her ability, questioning her motives and intentions and fueling any insecurity she may have. What's to come is so unknown, terrifying and vulnerable and that's been the hardest part for me;  the anxiety associated with not having any idea of what to truly expect and how I'll be able to handle it.

Thank you to everyone who has been a great supporter and friend during this wacky time in my life. I have an amazing support unit of friends and family that have made the extra effort to reach out and extend genuine words of wisdom, encouragement and love. With all my blogs, I realize my honesty is often offensive, please understand that this is just my own experience and does not reflect on all pregnancies and situations. We're ALMOST at the beautiful part. :)

Cheers!